I decided to google the statistics on relationships. What I saw was absolutely crazy. The first thing that popped up was "Infidelity". It's upsetting that the first thing that comes to mind when people talk about relationships, is cheating.
So the website gave some "how to stay together" tips... And I thought I'd share them with you, and give my honest opinion. (My opinion is in red.)
So here are the Relationship statistics:
Relationship statistics for you:
Cheating:
It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage. And these numbers are probably on the conservative side, when you consider that close to half of all marriages end in divorce (people are more likely to stray as relationships fall apart.) [ Relationships aren't being taken seriously. People see marriage as just another step in a serious relationship, when it originally started as a lifelong commitment to one person.]
Research consistently shows that 2 to 3% of all children are the product of infidelity. And most of these children are unknowingly raised by men who are not their biological fathers. DNA testing is finally making it easy for people to check the paternity of their children.
Infidelity is becoming more common among people under 30. Many experts believe this increase in cheating is due to greater opportunity (time spent away from a spouse) and young people developing the habit of having multiple sexual partners before they get married. [ Right, I forgot that it was normal for 12 year-olds to be sleeping with their gym partners. ]
There are no definitive "signs of cheating." But, in hindsight you will always find them. [ I disagree, actually there are many "signs" of cheating, as show on THIS PAGE. (Click here to see more)
Some cultures have adopted extreme measures to combat infidelity: female circumcision, allowing only limited contact between the sexes, and death as a punishment. While many other cultures view infidelity as more of a nuance, not a serious marital problem.
Men are more likely to cheat than women. But, as women become more financially independent, women are starting to act more like men with respect to infidelity.
In many cases, infidelity never gets discovered.
Emotionally, it is possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time. Pragmatically, loving more than one person is difficult to do. [ I don't think this is a valid argument for someone who has cheated though... If you want to be with someone, be with just them. Or don't make anything serious.]
As more and more women enter the work force, "office romances" are becoming more common. Spouses often spend more time with coworkers than with each other. [ Really no surprise, you get closest to those who you spend the most time with. A relationship has to have the foundation of a friendship before it can ever be more. ]
The internet, e-mail, and chat rooms are making it easier for people to engage in infidelity.
The initial decision to be unfaithful is rarely ever a rational choice; instead infidelity is usually driven by circumstances and one's emotions. In fact, most people are surprised by their own behavior at the start of an affair.
Emotional infidelity, compared to just physical infidelity, can inflict as much, if not more, hurt, pain and suffering. And to make matters worse, most infidelity involves both physical and emotional betrayal.
Unfortunately, many people find a more suitable mate (someone they love more than their spouse) after they are already married. [ Back to my "relationships are just another step in a serious relationship comment....." ]
Biological evidence (i.e., research on biology and reproduction) indicates that long-term monogamy is difficult for humans to achieve - NOT impossible, but difficult. [ Having to understand every aspect of someone who has a different background than you is never going to be easy. It's not that humans just naturally have a hard time. It depends on your willingness to learn and understand someone else. ]
Almost everyone admits to having fantasies that involve someone other than a spouse.
Jealousy is such a fundamental, universal emotion because infidelity has been a part of our human nature for a very long time.
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/stats-about-infidelity.html
Random Stats:
The average man’s ideal woman is 60lbs lighter than him. [ And studies show that the average 25 year old man weighs 180 lbs. So they ideal woman should weigh 120lbs. Studies also show that in general, a teenage girls weighs 140 by the time she's 18. ]
A woman will get chatted up in bar 6 minutes faster if she is wearing make up.
Last year 21% of dates were organized via e-mail and 5% of relationships were ended by text. [Thank you technology.]
98% of Americans have experienced unrequited love. [ We were all teenagers once. ]
Ladies don’t drink more than 1.5 glasses of wine more than your date – a turn off for most men. [ But who also wants a drunk date? ]
For every $5000 extra a woman earns over her partner, their risk of divorce goes up by 5%. [ Feeling like this could be an ego thing, though. ]
Over 2% of all heart attacks have been directly attributed to having a broken heart.
Divorce has been proven to reduce a man’s life expectancy by 3.7 years.
Tips for a lasting relationship:
10. When you make mistakes, say sorry.
Your heart should be bigger than your ego. Pride will get your relationship nowhere. When you suddenly threw tantrums in the middle of your seventh monthsary dinner (ulimately ruining the night), say sorry. It’s your fault, take the blame. It’s simple, really: When you make a mistake, apologize. [ I think we can all agree that this is right... being able to say you're sorry makes a huge impact. ]
9. When your partner makes mistakes, say sorry.
Shit happens. Everybody makes mistakes. Your partner is not an exception. When your partner does and he or she apologizes, don’t pin all the blame on him/her. Analyze the situation. I mean, REALLY analyze it and you’ll find you have shortcomings, too. Example:
He’s late. It’s his fault, yes. But did you remind him?
He called you a bitch. It’s his fault, yes. But are you really not?
He’s out with friends yet again. It’s not really a fault but let’s say it is. Was it clear you didn’t want him to go out with friends four times a week?
Point is, it wouldn’t hurt to get your share of the blame sometimes. After all, you’re partners.
8. Don’t self-pity.
If you think you’re so ugly or so stupid or so whatever and you think you’re not good at anything, stop it. Self-pitying will only make you feel bad. And if you feel bad about yourself, imagine how it makes your partner feel. Has it ever occurred to you that the more you tarnish your confidence, the worse your partner is hurt?
Think about this: He loves you. If you think you’re worthless, you are insulting your partner in a way.
7. Always say ‘I love you.’
Yeah, yeah, showing it beats saying it. But hey, saying “I love you,” especially when you mean it (and you should), has this extraordinary ability of brightening up a day, building confidence, and making your partner feel better.
You know what else has that ability? “Thank you.”
6. Don’t get too attached.
You’re one. You’re partners. Right. But hey, your relationship is not your life. You have a life together but it should not stop you from living a life of your own. Go out with your friends. Visit your family. Experience and enjoy life without him sometimes. It WILL help both you and your relationship.
Besides, ever heard of the word “suffocating?” Many relationships die of that.
[ Basically don't smother them, or obsess. Not only does it get weird, but you'll lose the "mystery" that set you two together in the first place. ]
5. Manage the drama.
A perfect relationship is a boring relationship. Get jealous sometimes. Feel uber-sensitive sometimes. Feel threatened sometimes. Add some drama to it.
But wait, there’s a thin line. DO NOT OVERDO IT!
It’s perfectly normal in a relationship that sometimes, one acts like a baby. But remember, there’s only one room for an immature person in every relationship. When one is throwing tantrums, the other has to remain calm, understanding and level-headed. Two babies at one time is a deadly combination. When your partner is acting like it, don’t do the same.
4. Spend nights together.
I know what you’re thinking. It’s not just sex. Sex is good, yes. What needs to be underlined here is that incredible feeling of going to sleep and waking up in the arms of someone you really love. Intimacy is important.
3. Know the little things about your partner.
Share secrets. Know the trivial things that most people would not care about or just dismiss. There’s one boy band song that I really like and it says, “It’s the little things that only I know; those are the things that make you mine.” That’s so true.
2. Don’t overpower your partner.
They say that in a relationship, there’s always one that dominates. It may be true. But if power is a problem in your relationship, talk about it. Do not overpower your partner all the time. Don’t insist paying for everything when he/she had already said she wanted to split. Don’t always put yourself on a pedestal; it makes your partner feel low. Don’t make rules by yourself. (And don’t make rules on the spot.) Listen to what he/she has to say.
1. Work it out.
One of the best pieces of love advice that I received came from a friend. She said, “You don’t quit just because you’re not happy at the moment. The whole point of being in a relationship is that you, at the very least, try to work it out.” That’s why it is a “relationship.” It’s a relationship between two people. It’s a collaborative effort.
Every couple has their ups and downs. And when you encounter the down-side of it, you don’t give up just like that. You talk. You listen. You weigh things over. You work it out.
So back to my blog.
Basically, from what the statistics say...
Men want a woman who's skinny,
pretty,
helpful,
has a calm attitude...
Right.
So guys want barbie. That's awesome. Let me just run out to the salon right now and dye my hair platinum blonde.
The thing is... Most women have a size 34 waist or higher after 18.
Platinum blonde ( if this is news to you, I'm sorry. ) is not a natural hair color, unless you're albino.
Most women's bodies are NOT proportional,
and to top it off,
we aren't born with eyeliner and foundation on.
Sorry to surprise you, guys.
But we put that shit on, nip and tuck all of our bodies to make that happen.
Shit's not natural.
Ever heard of botox?
Implants?
Society has an unrealistic view of what women should be. Little girls are shown that the women in media are what they should strive and achieve.
What the little girls aren't told, is that most of the celebrities are basically 30% plastic, even without the makeup, hair extensions, personal trainers, air brush, and professional stylists.
No wonder the statistics of divorce are so high. Do you honestly think that women like THIS,
sex objects,
are the kinds of women you can actually relate and spend your lives with?
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