Part 1- before dinner.

I just used my laptop as an arm extension to shut my door.


Hi guys. 


So I'm going to be straight up with you, and tell you that I'm having a god awful day. But that's why I blog, right? To let these cooped up emotions flow.
The day started out alright. Woke up and smoked a cigarette. 
That was actually just how it happened too. There was no "get water after rolling out of sheets and wandering the house". No. It was just immediate. 
I woke up, rolled out of bed, grabbed a smoke, and walked outside. There wasn't even a pause. I guess my body knew that today was going to suck.
Come to think of it, I did have a sinking feeling in my gut this morning. I thought I'd just put it aside to go about my day, because I had no reason to be feeling that way. 
I came back inside, and started up my laptop. 
I sat there, playing online for a while. 
Played some relaxing music, checked my facebook... etc. 
I went out to smoke (Yet again ). Except this was my last cigarette. A lucky. Now why wasn't it lucky...?
This is where everything fell apart. 
I can honestly say that I'm confused as hell. 
I didn't do anything actually "argument worthy"... But I guess everyone's just having a bad day. 
Great, isn't it? Day before valentine's day.
People fight. 
That's the spirit.
Spread the love. 


I had an anxiety attack immediately following. Yaaaaaaaaaaay me. 
This one was pretty bad... but it was more of a "feels like pins are being stuck in me all over" feeling, instead of just my heart. 
I think I need to go back to the doctor. 
I don't think it's healthy to be having this many heart problems. 


I was able to do my makeup, and take a few pictures with my brother too. Just some silly webcam photos. 


But after all the shit that happened, I just wasn't feeling okay. I decided that since it wasn't going to be resolved, I was just going to sleep my problems away. So from 3-5 something, I was sleeping. Avoiding my problems.


Of course, you always have to wake up. And I did. 
Would you be surprised if I told you that the problems HADN'T gone away?
Yeah, me neither. 


The problems are STILL here, as a matter of fact.
Day before valentine's day... seems like I'm going to be spending Valentine's day alone without a text, call... or whatever. 




Well I'm going to go eat dinner, and I'll be writing another blog afterwards . (Part 2- post dinner )


Everyone chill. (:
Eat something.